The Trixie Update

I’m inclined to use strong language to express my displeasure with the cute little bundle of crap that is crapping and peeing all over the house. Poop is a family-friendly word that parents use to chronicle their newborn’s exploits. But really — stronger language is needed here when she manages to defile so much in such a short time.

First, her diaper, her blanket and couch again. Then her diaper, her nightgown, the blanket, the pack-n-play sheet, the bath towel under it followed by the changing pad, two cloth diapers and a wash cloth. This is during a one hour period while we’re already doing a load of her soiled everything.

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You turn your back for two seconds during a diaper change and suddenly there’s urine everywhere. Trixie was completely covered in it. I was just about to take shower so we decided to take her in with me. She didn’t flinch. Logistically it’s easier to rinse her off in the shower than the whole baby bath thing, but I suspect she’s going to get pretty slippery if soap were introduced into the mix so this probably isn’t the ideal solution. At least we are getting her used to water.

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That’s how much it cost to have a baby, vaginal delivery, no complications, followed by 36 hours in the hospital. Trixie is now officially the most expensive thing we have in the house — she cost way more than the computer. The health insurance paid for itself this year.

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Trixie is still pretty over-stimulated by the black and white patterns. But I think she likes it — as a sort of addiction. Sometimes instead of scanning the image, her eyes go wide, her pupils dilate and she just stares. We expect to see smoke come out of her ears. Still not exposing her for more than about 5 seconds.

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She’s still so tiny, and the logistics of trying to bath her are confounding, but Trixie’s hair smelled really bad so her first hair-washing was deemed necessary. We stuck her in the giant blow-up duck beside the kitchen sink and started pouring warm water all over her. No major complaints from the kid, although she did get the hiccups halfway through.

The only real concern is that her head smells like we dipped her in a giant vat of chemicals. We used Johnson & Johnson’s baby shampoo and we used the pea sized amount, but it still smells strong. I think it bothers me more than it bothers her.

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Well, we showed a few of the images to Trixie. Her reaction was pretty much the same regardless of the individual image. Her eyes INSTANTLY get huge, and start rapidly scanning, flitting back and forth. The immediacy was surprising and alarming. I half expected her eyes to roll up in her head and convulsions to begin. I worried that her brain had overloaded and fried some circuits, but she behaves normally once the image is removed.

Based on her reaction, these images are the most interesting things she has ever seen in her life. However, she’s not going to see a lot of them because I’m afraid to expose her for more than 5-10 seconds at a time.

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Everyone says that babies respond best to high-contrast black and white images. A series of images have been created to test this theory. But what kind of patterns are baby’s brains interested in processing? Ordered patterns, disordered, organic? Repetitions? Symmetries? Changes in Scale? Linear, Radial or Clustered groupings? Intersections of Forms? Solid Shapes? Edge Relationships? These questions will all be answered. I know I should be doing other things with my time when she is sleeping (like taking a nap myself or cleaning urine off the couch), but I can’t stop making patterns in Illustrator. Currently waiting for Trixie to wake up.

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Trixie started making some new noises when napping today. She creaks and squeaks like a rusty door. Can’t figure out where the noise is actually coming from. Throat? Lungs? Stomach? Don’t know.

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Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
What doesn’t have baby pee or poop on it?
I don’t know.

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When baby poop shoots out the top of the back of the diaper, what does it mean? Is the diaper too small or too tight?

note: she was not able to stay clean for even two hours since the last bath.

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