The Cheerio Syndrome

April 5th, 2004 · 14 Comments

Looking over our monthly budget I realize that we are spending like $200 a month on Cheerios. This is insane. I’ve been trying to keep track of her baby food expenses, and like a fool I was only looking at baby food jars. It is only now that I realize how wrong, how terribly wrong, that approach was.

I’m not entirely sure how it’s happening. I mean, it’s true that I end up eating them like bar nuts. There’s always an open box sitting around somewhere. It’s hard not to - especially when they aren’t stale.

Jennifer too has renewed her interest in the toasted oat cereal. She’s taken to eating it like a kid on Saturday mornings. We also both sometimes decide that Cheerios is perfectly acceptable for dinner - especially when Trixie has not been cooperating, and it’s sooo much work to get to the store. (Unless of course, it’s just a quick trip to pick up more Cheerios.)

But Trixie, naturally, accounts for most of the volume. By “accounts for” I certainly don’t mean “positively ingests.” Even when we think she’s eating a lot we can end up surprised. For example, Jennifer was changing her diaper last week. She unbuttoned Trixie’s outfit and Cheerios spilled out like a slot machine. We thought Trixie was feeding herself - she was actually carefully dropping each piece of cereal down the front of her shirt for safe-keeping.

I can really only blame myself for being surprised. In retrospect, the 56 empty boxes that have accumulated in the recycling pile over the last 2 months should have tipped us off. As well as the motor fleet of Cheerios’ “Salute to Richard Petty” Hot Wheels cars, included in specially marked boxes (I’m guessing this promotion must only be in the southeast. Hell, maybe even only NC. Can anyone confirm this?), that I trip over about 3 times an hour. This is in addition to the regular crunching sound our floor now makes.

Unfortunately, I don’t really see any way out. I find myself buying Cheerios all the time. I feel naked if I don’t have a box in my hand. If I notice that we are down to only 5 boxes, I start to get nervous. When people talk about the hidden costs of having a baby, this must be what they mean.

Tags: Food

14 responses so far ↓

1 fred // Apr 5, 2004 at 5:45 pm

I’m pretty sure Cheerios will give bulk discounts; if you and Jen/Mom can add another box or two a month, you’ll qualify. Alternatively, the Malt-O-Meals cereals are often made from the same ingredients (their toasted oats were last time I checked, which was about six months ago) and end up being cheaper. And in bags, so you have somewhere to store the cars.
2 hannah // Apr 5, 2004 at 8:38 pm

I agree w/Fred - you may have to go generic, lest Trixie develop the same incurable brand preference that her parents suffer from. But, alas, you’re not alone in your adult addiction to the O’s. When I was in college at UNC when I’d go out on the town for a night of extreme-drinking, I used to carry a box of Cheerios around with me for snacking - they were always quite a hit. And they go well w/beer and milk - what other food can you say that about??? I might just stop by next time you undress Trixie hoping to catch some of her cache when it spills out. Love the slot machine image . . .
Hannah
3 Lennon's Dad // Apr 6, 2004 at 10:50 am

Lennon goes through a lot of Cheerios as well … oddly enough, not as much as Trixie seems to go through, even though i supplement just about every meal with them, as well as have a small bowl available throughout the day. I, too, snack on them like you too (I actually even did this before Lennon arrived). I buy the bulk size (two large bags) in the local bulk supermarket (here in the Northeast it’s BJs, your region may vary), and put one bag’s contents in an airtight container.

Our problem with unused Cheerios isn’t the slot machine … it’s the “droppings”. Lennon will take a very full handful, and wander around as he shoves them in his mouth. Of course, he doesn’t quite get all of them, and they drop all over the house. This is then compounded by the inevitable STEPPING ON the droppings. My entire living room rug has a beige tinge of Cheerio dust.

We do not have anything Richard Petty in our Cheerios (Lennon and I are in New Jersey), but that may be due to the bulk packaging we get. We *did* however have a brief period where kids DVDs came with the box .. we have Air Bud II and the Muppet Movie because of it
4 benmac // Apr 6, 2004 at 11:56 am

Corrections:

I have to admit that the numbers from this story were just a little bit exaggerated in order to properly reflect my perception of how many Cheerios we’ve been eating. I haven’t actually been keeping track of Cheerios’ boxes at all, but judging by the number of Hot Wheels cars on the floor, I would guess that we’ve maybe gone through 6 or 7 — not 54 — in the last 2 months.

The point of course, is that it just feels like Cheerios have taken over our lives. Everything else is portrayed accurately - especially Trixie hoarding Cheerios in her outfit.

I truly thought that $200 a month for Cheerios, which breaks down to $50 a week, was an outrageous enough number to alert people to the joke. I guess the scary thing is that maybe it’s not that outrageous a number at all, and the joke will be on me at some point in the future when we really are spending that much a month to feed her.

Sorry about the confusion, sometimes my sense of humor is too dry for my own good, especially considering that this site is supposed to be an authority on accurately collecting baby data.
5 aunt s. // Apr 6, 2004 at 12:46 pm

Do you have a photo of Trixie as Little Miss Cheerio? I won’t believe it ’til I see it! (ps - we miss you all - hope to be down to NC soon.)
6 fred // Apr 6, 2004 at 1:24 pm

Alas, the best laid jokes of mice and Ben. . .
Five or six boxes will still do you a pretty good Hallowe’en costume when the time rolls around.
7 tallulah's mama // Apr 8, 2004 at 3:18 am

“I feel naked if I don’t have a box in my hand. If I notice that we are down to only 5 boxes, I start to get nervous.”

this reminds me of when i was a childless carefree (carefree? my memory is kind, if not shot) woman in my early thirties living in new york city …when i realized i was accumulating cartons of eggs (organic, of course) in my refrigerator.

a year and a half later…tallulah jane was born.

she, her daddy and i now live in france. i wonder if our collective addiction to baguettes means anything. if we add cheerios to our diet too soon, i will get nervous. one 7 month old baby is enough for now, bien sur!
8 silly man // Apr 22, 2004 at 5:27 pm

Cheerios are fine, but has Trixie made to Gerber Finger Foods yet?
9 Sleepy Daddy // Jun 17, 2004 at 9:48 pm

We got the “pain in the foot” Hot Wheels in Cheerio boxes here in WI. Nothing like stepping on old number 43 on your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night…
10 benmac // Jun 17, 2004 at 9:56 pm

Wisconsin? Really? Now that’s interesting. I know that Nascar is national now, but who would have thought that Petty was big out there in dairy land?

Anyway, the promotion has been over for a while and our final car count is ten. We’re losing them at a rate of one a week, so I expect to be Pettyless by the end of the summer.

thanks for the info!
11 cymbala(The accursed one) // Feb 11, 2005 at 9:32 pm

If anyone has those R.Petty Hot Wheels,especially the Barracuda or Lucky Charms Intrepid ones,I might be interested in them,but only if they are in packaging,unopened,or if out of package,MAYBE if clean & in excellent condition.Thanks!Nice site.
12 cymbala(The accursed one) // Feb 11, 2005 at 9:37 pm

I might add that I’m in WI,too!
13 Michael Stranak // Jun 9, 2005 at 2:42 pm

I’m looking for #8 in the set 80’s pontiac grand prix, and #9 in the set 70’s plymoth barracuda, anyone that has these still in the sealed package and is willing to sell, will take whole lots if available… THANKS stranakmr@aol.com
14 Jenna // Jun 14, 2005 at 1:35 pm

OMG your website is the only website in the world that can make me laff so hard I practically fall out of my chair. I find it difficult to find the latest thigns you have posted on the website… are they always on the main page?

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