The Trixie Update

Trixie reprised (recycled) her role this year as a dangerous by-product of the atomic age. Because as everyone knows, Atomic Babies grow up to be Atomic Toddlers. Trixie had a lot of fun running around in a skin-tight body suit, and we’re looking forward to meeting with the IAEA next Thursday.

Above: Trixie trick-or-treating at superspeed, checking traffic safety cones

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“…at this time officials can offer no explanation for the increased radiation levels detected throughout the Triangle over the last 24 hours. State employees have confirmed that the levels measured are not dangerous, but are still contacting Homeland Security in order…”

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After taking this trip, I realize that Trixie’s decent sleep schedule exists only because of routine and familiarity. Once you throw those out the window, you get to see what horrible kinds of sleep instincts are still buried in that exhausted little brain.

Our plan was to begin the trip at bedtime, let Trixie fall asleep on the way up, and then carefully move her — still asleep — once we arrived around midnight. Trixie’s plan was to grab a short nap on the trip up, and then have us carefully move her — wide awake — once we arrived. She then proceeded to stay up until 2am.

As for the sleeping arrangements, Trixie slept (screamed) in the Pack ‘N Play portable crib during this trip. It wasn’t ideal, but it’s really the only solution because it just doesn’t work to bring Trixie into our bed. She is a kicker. She’ll also try to peel your eyelids or ears right off your face. In short, letting Trixie in our bed is dangerous, and it only happens when we make bad decisions in the middle of the night.

So for the duration of the trip, Trixie didn’t sleep that well overnight and she refused to take a nap during the day. The only time she actually fell asleep was from sheer exhaustion, and by the time we got to this point she was stumbling around, bumping into things, babbling incoherently, grinding her fists into her eyes and generally acting like she was drunk.

I also think Trixie was getting stressed out from waking up in a new place every time she fell asleep. She falls asleep in the car, wakes up in a strange apartment. Falls asleep in front of the Capital, wakes up in a coffee shop. By Monday she was struggling to keep her eyes open out of fear of where she might end up next. I know I would be a little freaked out. It’s like a Twilight Zone episode for toddlers.

Despite sleep challenges, we had a great trip and I’m ready to hit the road again. Trixie, however, is still catching up on her sleep.

Oh yeah, the title? Trixie Standard Time, of course.

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As many readers correctly figured out over the weekend, we took a little trip and didn’t have regular access to the internet. What gave it away? The 25-hour nap Friday night or Trixie staying up 18 hours in a row through Sunday afternoon?

So how do we update Telemetry when on the road? If there’s not internet access, I am lucky to be able to call on an elite corps of connected individuals — the Remote Telemetry Operators (RTOs). This nationwide network is always ready to record a nap or log a diaper (as long as I can catch one of them at home.) This trip we owe thanks to Rod out in California for waking Trixie up from her endless slumber. But Schaf of New York City also deserves a shout-out. He’s been one of our top operators on previous day-trips.

We’re back at home now, and there will be more about the trip soon. Plus, I’ll get a chance to look at the comments that have come in. I haven’t been ignoring anyone on purpose.

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We’re still working on the concept of toilet-training when Trixie lets us. Her interest in the subject comes and goes. She’ll get into it for a week or so, and then be indifferent for 3 weeks. We recently got a new potty for her to use. It’s larger, and — it takes batteries. It’s got a light-sensor built into the seat that chimes when ’something’ passes in front of it.

At first I was skeptical. Once the toilet is activated, an insanely bright, red LED shoots out and lights up the whole basin. Trixie immediately took to this new light-activated laser potty, and wasted no time poking around for hours in the glowing, pulsing basin. It was hard enough to keep her hands out of the toilet before. Now there’s a light show in the bathroom.

Oh sure, I know, you probably already have a laser in your toilet. But does yours make noise? When this one first turns on, it sounds like Microsoft Windows starting up. It’s a nice little chime, and while it doesn’t explicitly ask, “Where do you want to go today?”, you know that’s what it’s thinking.

Trixie gets into the whole process for the most part. It’s a great celebration when something actually happens and the toilet always keeps you informed. Chime — chime — chime — chime. However, Trixie has figured out how to game the toilet. If she shoves her hands in the basin while she’s sitting down, it will also chime, and that’s excellent, just excellent, hygienic behavior that bears reinforcing. She also totally gets into the “bye-bye” part when we transfer the potty basin to the REAL TOILET. She knows all about the flushing, and likes to make sure that everything is really gone.

This chiming, laser-potty is insane, and I’m sure this is just the beginning of a vicious potty marketing cycle. I know the way Fisher Price works. This time next year there will be potties that sing to kids, greet them by name. It will make us wonder how we ever got along without talking laser-toilets.

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In a word, No. A lot of readers have recently asked about whether Trixie is finally talking. I’ve been hesitant to address the issue because there’s not much to write about and I’ve had my head in the sand. She just doesn’t do it, beyond the occasional Ma-ma and Da-da.

Words aside, Trixie is pretty vocal. She does a lot of moaning and mmm’ing when eating because she likes her food. Jenn and I don’t even hear it anymore, but apparently it’s pretty loud. We rediscover this every time we eat with other people. There’s always this moment where I look up and see that everyone has stopped eating and is staring at Trixie in slack-jawed disbelief. Some parents are embarrassed by this sort of thing — I look at it as taking the pressure off me. As long as Trixie is around, no one is going to walk away from dinner commenting on my dining habits.

Aside from mealtime mmm’ing, there’s plenty of humming that moves up and down in pitch, frequent sing-song la-la-la/ba-ba-ba, ecstatic screeching and the perennial favorite, ballistic screaming and yelling.

However, none of these verbalizations really translate into actual words. I’ve gotten to the point, I think, that I just don’t care anymore. We’ve worried enough about it for months, and the axiom that every child develops at her own pace is pretty comforting.

One reason not to worry is that there’s nothing wrong with her cognitive skills. She understands plenty, and has readily followed directions for months and months. We can ask her to go get her shoes if we’re going out, or to go dump some empty bottles in the recycling bin. Most recently, we can tell her to go get something to drink if she’s thirsty and she is able to go open the fridge and get out her milk or juice cup (depending on preference) which is now kept on the bottom shelf.

Many readers have suggested sign language as a way to bridge the language gap. We’ve tried. It took her forever to decide to even wave “hi” and “bye”. The only other thing she’s picked up is from a kids show where one of the characters celebrates Autumn by acting like a tree with out-stretched arms. This she can do. Trixie can sign “tree” no problem. “Trixie, tree!” Boom, arms go up. Also if she sees a tree, or we point out a tree, arms go up. This proves valuable in situations where Trixie needs to warn us that a tree is about to fall, or if she wants to climb a tree or if the squirrels are in the tree again.

I’m sure she’ll talk when she’s ready. As stated, I’m trying not to worry about it, but it doesn’t always work out. Today it caught up with me in a pet store while searching for kittens. Instead we got a giant parrot who kept loudly mocking us, “Hello!? How are you? Hello!” I wasn’t amused. We’re not going back until Trixie can bury that bird under an avalanche of profanity.

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It doesn’t tie into any specific story. It’s more of a celebratory “We finally have a new poll up” poll. (There are also some code tweaks that should make the poll work better from this point forward.)

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A quick note regarding emails sent to me about the site or babies or whatever: I respond to every email that comes in — usually within a day, but often much quicker.

The reason I mention this is that I suspect some of the emails I send out might not be getting through because of aggressive email filtering. So remember, if you write me, make sure your spam filtering isn’t keeping emails from trixieupdate.com from getting to your inbox.

If you have already written me and think you didn’t get a response, re-send your email and I’ll re-send mine. And as always, thanks for writing!

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